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Eleanor: I'm going to stop you.

Max: Are you really?

Eleanor: Yes I am.

Max: I said you had a vivid imagination, Miss Hopkirk. I didn't realise you were a complete and utter fantasist. If you had wanted to stand against me, or find your own champion to take me on, then you had every chance. But Mr Regan and I are the last ones standing and the ballot opens in three days' time, so I'm afraid your chances are slim to buggery-fuck-all.

Dan: Unless you step down voluntarily, of course.

Eleanor: Very good, Daniel.

Max: Now Eleanor, why on God's green, Tory-governed Earth would I voluntarily step aside?

Eleanor regards him coolly for a moment.

Max: Oh, I see. You've got something on me have you? Or you think you have. I don't know if you've been following the news at all, Ellie, but I have been through the wringer a few times already, and I've always come up shining.

Eleanor: So far. But do you ever stop to wonder how many cock-ups, skeletons or controversies can you actually weather Max? Is there a limit to even your cockroach-like ability to survive what would destroy any normal politician?

Max: What are you so bent out of shape over? None of my supposed cock-ups have inconvenienced you, have they?

Eleanor: Do you recall the time when you came to feel the "personal pain" of gridlocked commuters in my constituency? How you were going to provide your fullest support and that you were totally sympathetic to our local congestion problems?

Max: Well, I did, didn't I?

Eleanor: You arrived by helicopter, stayed twenty minutes and left claiming that you were late for lunch.

Max: Ah, well, I was a very busy Mayor. Is that's all you've got...?

Dan: I don't remember that.

Eleanor: Max got it hushed up - I shudder to think how.

Max: Hardly the vilest of crimes in any case.

Eleanor: What about the collapsing at the Cenotaph? On Remembrance Sunday? The pictures were beamed round most of the English-speaking world.

Max: I made it very clear that I had had a very late night working on papers and had forgotten to eat breakfast.

Eleanor: You scattered three High Commissioners in your wake and concussed the Nigerian Ambassador.

Max: And I took flowers to his bedside. It was an Internet sensation.

Eleanor: You're a joke, Max.

Max: That's not what most people happen to think.

Eleanor: A joke that happens not to be funny.

Dan: You were really funny on that TV show. You got much more laughs than the chairman.

Max: Always a pleasure to be asked on Question Time.

Eleanor: Well, I happen to know about something rather more serious.